Family...

I miss my sister.

She is a bit older than me but we have always been close. I haven't talked or seen my sister since our grandmothers funeral in March of 2009. That is so hard.

There are days where I could careless about her. Those feelings come and go. The days where I stare at my phone and want to call her and just chat like we used too, talk about the kids. Then I stop and think that she has yet to really acknowledge Christian and for the past 2 years has never called Jack or Christian on their birthdays. And whatever is going through her head...DO NOT...I repeat...DO NOT take it out on my children.

I don't miss my sister.

Whatever beef you have with me fine, but don't make my kids suffer. I have been there since day 1 with my nieces and nephews, all 4 of them, they get phone calls and birthday cards every year. I do not forget them. Why are you forgetting mine? The bonus is I guess they don't have to deal with her selfishness but I want them to figure that out themselves. It makes me sad that they will not know their cousins, they are wonderful children. I remember everything about them and I will never forget. They won't remember my kids at all and that is the worst.

Whenever she decides to come back to what is important...family, not what can I buy my kids so they will forget, but family. I am here. She knows where I live, I secretly pretend that she drives by our house just to see up playing outside and being with family and gets jealous and drives off. But I want her to stop in. No invitation needed. No apologies needed. I just want my sister back.

But the longer she makes me wait the more these happy feeling go away. Maybe that is what she is hoping for. I hope not.

I miss my sister.